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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 13)

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  • Pam Jones United States

    Tyler I know how you feel and I feel your pain. I am blessed to still have my mom and I love her so much and cherish my time with her, but I lost my father on March 20, 2012. His 83rd b'day would have been today and I only wish I could tell him happy birthday and give him a hug. I have a big empty ache in my heart today that nothing can fill. Everyone should hold their family and loved ones close and not let a minute go by without letting them know how much you love them. Last year on his b'day I guess I was still in shock, this year his b'day hit me really hard. I could barely function yesterday or today and could not sleep last night. I hope tonight will be better. I went to his grave today and actually hugged his gravestone. I took my favorite picture of him with me and put it on the headstone. I talked to him and told him how much I loved him and thanked him for all he has done for me. I let him know he's still helping me today, from heaven above. I lost my job after my husband was badly burned in a home house fire accident and we had to spend two months in Augusta Burn Unit where I was trained in his care. I came home and started nursing school as soon as my husband was well enough and my dad got to see his "little girl" be the first in his family in this generation to go to college. I want to be able to help others as a burn nurse, with skills learned in the care of my husband. He didn't live to see me grauate which is still a few years away or to earn the Marine scholarship this year, given to deserving children of Marines who are working hard in college to achieve their dreams. It was awarded to me the in his name, in July and will be in the mail to my school day after tomorrow. It's like a b'day gift from my daddy in heaven to me to help me continue my dream in college at least for the coming year. I told him I am going to honor him and his service by doing the best I can in school and becoming the best burn care nurse I can be. I asked the Marines to send him a foot stone with his name and rank on it and the war he served in and had the funeral home install it before his birthday. Now every time the veterans come by, they will place a flag on his grave in honor of his service to our country. This was my birthday gift to him this year. Life can be hard and I think the loss of a parent is one of the hardest things we have to face in life. Thank you for all your uplifting and encouraging emails and thank you especially for this one today, on my daddy's birthday, "I Still Miss You". It has touched my heart and came to me at a time I really needed to hear this, and hear it from someone who was hurting just like me and hurting for the same reasons. You knew there was someone out there who needed to hear this today and I wanted to let you know I did. Love and prayers and God Bless you always! Pam

    Reply
  • Jan Hewitt Lexington KY

    What a lovely tribute -- they are with us still, our mothers who have passed over -- in our hearts, our souls, every fiber of our being. And close at hand always, still loving us and watching over us. Blessings to you. With love, Jan Hewitt

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  • satara williams MIAMI FL

    HELLO TYLER PERRY, I DO UNSTAND I LOSS MY MOTHER AUG 5, 2012 and every time I thank about her tears fall from my face. I remeber when my mother give me my fisrt dog . oneday, when she came home from the store , she had a big bag and she said come get this bag out of my hand. and when I tried the dog fell out into my hand. that how my mother stop me from buming my haed to the chairs. she give me, a friend.

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  • Charlene Lane St Louis, Mo

    Hi Tyler, How wonderful your mother must have been. You were truly blessed! Hold onto these precious memories. Mothers like yours are very rare these days. I'm talking about mothers who were here to raise their children in love of God, the way to glorify our God. It is good to have wonderful careers but to have molded and reared a child to become what God has intended for him(her) to become is nothing but a miracle. God bless you Tyler. You were so blessed to have such a wonderful mother. Charlene Lane

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  • Harriet Canada

    Hmmmm I lost my dearest mother a year ago, I don't think my life will ever remain the same .Every nite I sit up in the darkness and think about her,then I walk to her room and lay on hetr bed soooo painful. I miss her so much my kids don't want to talk about her in front of me because they know I will start crying. Just yesterday I was going thru my things then I saw receipt for her walker and other medical stuff and then for the rest of the day I was depressed. So Mr Perry I feel your pain ....hmmmmm may God continue to comfort you but it not easy .

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  • Sharon New York

    Hello Tyler, God Bless You Tyler.....Your love for your mom is touching. I treasure my mom...a woman who raised six children alone at a time when it was so difficult to make ends meet. God blessed us with her knowledge, wisdom and love to teach and guide us, making us who we are today. I thank God for her every day and show her that I care. Yes, we must say we love our moms, but as you have done Tyler...and as you have told us many times, we must show our moms that we love them in the good and bad times...when we feel good and when we feel bad. Sometimes it's difficult to remember this when life serves us discontent, but I believe that if we return our hearts to "home base" which is "mom's love," everything will be alright. I send my love and a big hug to you, Tyler, because I couldn't imagine not having my mom around. Your unconditional love for your mom reaches out to all of us, as your mom's loving spirit continues to embrace you through God's love and grace. May you be blessed always. Love and Hugs...Sharon

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  • Stephanie S. Los Angeles, Ca

    I hardly ever comment, but this I could not let go by. Tyler, I'm 47 years old and my mother passed June 21, 1979. I was 14years old. I'm still 14years old in many, many ways and I wish I would grow up in all aspects of my life. I understand...though we know and believe by faith they are better than we, the humanity...the separation is almost more than we can bare...almost. But God!!! Life and Death, we come to go. I know your mother is proud of you. Thankfully she got to see your success! My mother didn't. I would hope she'd be proud of me as a 911 dispatcher for LAPD and I pray I do more than that before....I go. God bless you in your pain.

    Reply
  • Latoya Raleigh NC

    Hi Tyler, I too know how you feel my big bro died that same year in July after fourth. i swear i constantly hear gun shots and that whole day play back and forth. i was in psychology class and last chapter was death and dying and that was ruff for me. the thing that help me get through it all is God if i stay in that spot for too long i would really loose it. p.s thanks for sharing tp:)i will be getting that temptation on dvd this week that be my first time watching it. i wish it was nextflix tho take care

    Reply
  • JD Stone Mountain Ga.

    This is so true. I tell my parents, wife, sister, kids & grandchildren I love them every time we speak and are in each other presence. Mr Perry when time permits, go to You tube and type in CMBC MJ. This is a video of MJ Angels of the Lord of Praise Ministry by Angela Ratliff. This is very uplifting song they are performing to. This is my 9 yr old God-daughter leading the praise dance. I think it is amazing what Angela is doing with these youths in my home town. I think you will find this vey inspirational.

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  • Brenda Amite La

    Hi Tyler, I own the dry cleaners in Greensburg La. Your Mom was loved in the community and i know everyone is so very proud of the person you are. I too am so inspired at what a truly great man you have become and all you have overcome in life. I too have overcome many hardships but refused to settle for anything less than being a kind person and also a productive small business owner. Lost my Mom 4 yrs ago also to ALS, the loss is better now but still really rough. Hang in there!!!

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  • Lisa Atlanta

    That was a beautiful message to your mom. Oh, how I wish that I could call my mom and tell her that I luv her. My mom passed in December 2000. Though its been almost 13 years, her absence is felt everyday. I can't confide in my best friend and share my accomplishments. But what I will do from now on is what you have done. I will put my emotions on paper on those moments when I really need to talk to her. Thanks for that idea. Daughter without a mother...

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  • Cyn N da ER with mom

    Amen. Mr. Perry is wise. Take care of your parents. We have cared for my mom around the clock for 3 years she deserves the best care after raising 6 children.

    Reply
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