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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 3)

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  • Yvette

    I'm just skipping through the comments and came across these mama letters. I don't know what to think. But either way someone is in serious need of mental cleansing. Get help before the world knows your name.

    Reply
  • always amazed... home

    sometimes pain can often blind the heart from receiving love from those who one most needs it from. when you come from a place of constant pain, this feeling becomes the norm and the heart gets familiar with ways to block the pain. the pain distances the one who has been hurt from ever allowing the hurt places to ever be exposed again. it's scary never knowing if someone will come in and tear open the healed place where so much pain once resided. it hurts to always have the fear of feeling the same painful places again. i don't want that. it's been so much easier to protect those places than to believe that someone else loves enough to protect them more than the one protecting...but i thank you for being just that...it matters and that so much more than you can ever imagine...thumb over cheek...thank you.

    Reply
    • the dept of love you possess... #1873747

      pulls on heart strings no matter where i am. you have the gift of love which is why your pain is so heart felt. no worries my love, all of the pain is being replace with love. everyday notice how you walk a little differently, you talk and sound a little differently, you are even looking differently and people are beginning to notice...that's love. i just need for you to believe...believe until your dreams believe... guess where i got that from :D OneLove - Ms.Kat

      Reply
  • Tyler Perry Tyler Perry Syudios

    For all of you who don't believe! YES I COME HERE AND WRITE ON MY WEBSITE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. I find it easier to talk to you this way than constantly posting messages. I find that I will run into my true hardcore fans this way and it has been great talking to some of you. In case you didn't see me on the Steve Harvey Show, I am SINGLE!!!!! I'm looking for the perfect someone in my life right now. So, you never know what will happen. I'm reposting this message to say thank you for your comments and that I really enjoy reading your stories. You all are all the family that I can turn to about my work who truly understand. I WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF NOTHING without you. See you here to chat a bit, from Monday to Friday at Noon. Love you. Talk Soon, Tyler I Still Miss You I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-) I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy". I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS! And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through. I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart. I love you mamma and I always will. W. Maxine Perry 1 If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

    Reply
    • Maryanne Lagos, Nigeria #1867514

      Hi Tyler Perry, I reaaalllyyyyy do love ur movies . I remember watching madea goes to jail n I felt like it was addressing ma situation directly. And oh my God! when I watched "Temptations" I was blown away. That movie's awesome . It helped me not to make a horrible decision on the night I saw it @ the cinemas n its been a turning point for me since then. I do av a question though and I hope its appropriate for me to ask. Anyways ,the question's is : y are u still single????you talk so much about relationships so one would expect that you'd be in one or @most married. Again, your singleness is it by choice or design? Just want you to know that there are a lot of pple like me who draw inspiration from ur work. Keep it up!

      Reply
    • Gilda Carloss Oakland, California #1871749

      Dear Mr. Perry, I have read about and cried over your mother and I must ask you what do you do when your Mama is already gone? I was in the hospital when I lost my mom. I had been comatose and when I came out of it, Mama was gone already and no one even told me! They tried to tell me that for my own well-being they kept it from me. I tried to understand where they were coming from, but for the life of me I couldnot. My mom was as mean as A junkyard dog but, I did love her with all of my heart. I just thought that I would share the source of A big part of my pain. But if I know God like I think I do, yhen I will see my mom again one day. BTW I LOVED MADEA GOES TO JAIL!! CALL if you are moved to do so. I am always here to listen to whatever you want to talk about. God Bless You, Gilda

      Reply
  • tasha lane California

    Hi Tyler, I just came home from a wedding and was about to post a "woe is me" comment until I just so "happen" to read your July 29th post about your Mom. What an eye opening reminder and admonishment to love the ones we have while we have them!! It stopped me dead in my tracks because I was headed to my personal "sinkhole" and was about to start complaining about this and that. What a wonderful relationship you had with your mom and I know you do miss her dearly. I still have my mom and have a lot to be grateful for... I could not imagine not being able to hear her voice... (too much to think about).... so I'll just say I'm blessed. Thanks for the reminder and I will praying for you. Talk to you soon. Take care,

    Reply
    • dee Tanzania (East Africa) #1872630

      I say your anointed! I thank God for the talent He has given you. You were created for His glory. I praise God for the man you are. Stay blessed

      Reply
  • Nkadimeng South Africa

    Oh my God, I just love you Tyler Perry, you are my inspiration, my mentor, you just keep me going and alive, you make me so strong and because of you, now I know that the business of life is to move on and help others just to realize what they can be after every situation that might have wrecked them, now I wake up with joy every morning, I am inspired, I feel better, just keep doing a great job, I am alive because of you today, and I very much thank God for the parents who brought you to this planet of earth, especially you mother who has been through h*** but still made sure that she gave you the best LOVE. I love wholeheartedly. And I lo her so much, May her soul rest in peace, God bless you more.

    Reply
  • You're not too late

    I love you soooooooooo much!

    Reply
    • On this Day ... 9/13/2013 #1874103

      Momma W. Maxine Perry, you gave birth to a gem! He is setting the world aglow. I would like to thank you personally, so from my heart to Jesus to God to you....THANK YOU!! My hands my not large enough to hold him but my heart is. Thanks Again Momma Maxine! Rest-In-Peace1

      Reply
  • Wendy Ontario, Canada

    I tell myself that when you let all the good times and laughter fill your heart the sadness soon stops; but deep down I wonder...when you love someone so deeply does the pain ever go away? I found myself crying last week and thoughts of my grandfather filling my mind. I couldn't figure out why and then it occurred to me that the one year anniversary of his passing was approaching. We had such a special relationship he and I. I am so truly grateful to God for all the love I have received in my life and the privilege of being able to give that love to a child now in my care. I can't imagine the pain you felt losing your mom because my mom is such a huge part of my life. Take care and thanks for making me write about this finally. It is very healing. God Bless.

    Reply
  • Kae P East Coast

    Good Morning, Mr. Perry. GOD has put it in my heart to follow you on twitter. I'm not too sure why but am going to obey. That poem was beautiful, a real tear jerk-er. Although, there were several joyous moments in the recollection of your mother. I pray that memories of her will Always bring you a sense of peace and gratitude. Blessings=)

    Reply
  • carmen marie MARTINEZ GA....

    ALWAYS... IN THE NAME OF JESUS.....

    Reply
  • MARY T

    SWEET....., I LOVED........ IT. SO GLAD TO HAVE HAD MY MOTHER IN MY LIFE AND I WAS SO BLESSED TO HAVE HAD GOD GRACED ME WITH HER. AS I WAS READING THOSE WONDERFULTHOUGFHTS ABOUT YOUR MOM IT REMINDS ME OF THE TIMES I STAYED UP WITH MY MOM TILL THE EARLY MORNING HER PLAYING CARDS OR SHOOTING DICE. YOU SEE MY MOM HAD A PASSION FOR FUN AND GAMES ONLY DIFFERENCE IS, AT TIMES, MY MOM PLAYED FOR MONEY. PLAYING FOR MONEY WAS THE THING IN HER GENERATION. AND WHEN YOU MENTION ZZ HIL ( DOWN HOME BLUES) I THOUGHT ABOUT JONNY TAYLOR ( DISCO LADY) BOBBY WOMACK (IF YOU THINK YOUR LONELY NOW,WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT GIRL) AND AL GREEN ( LETS STAY TOGETHER..., LOVING YOU FOREVER, IS ALRIGHT WITH MEEE.... HE SAID YOOU..... MAKE ME FEEL SO BRAND NEW.... AND I....WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU..... NEED I GO ON. BECAUSE I CAN TAKE YOU BACK A LOT. I SIMPLY LOVE THOSE MOMENTS, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TILL EARLY MORNING. WE WERE SUNG OUT, DANCED OUT, BECAUSE WE HAD TO PUT ON A SHOW FOR THE OLD PEOPLE LOL... :) LOVED IT!!!!!! TYLER YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED MY MOM AND WHEN I SAY FUNNY!! SHE WAS IT 1,00,000,000 TIMES OVER AND OVER. I THINK SHE WOULD HAVE OUT FUNNY MY GIRL/MAN MADEA.HATTIE, JOE ,FLOYD, (REDD FOX/ FRED SANFORD AND SON), A SHOUT OUT MOMENT TO ALL THE LEGENDS. AND AS STUPID CRAZY,FUNNY AS HE IS MY BOY MARTIN LAWRENCE...... HANDS DOWN!!!!!!!!!! MY MEMORIES OF MY MOM ARE SWEET I TOLD MY BROTHER WHEN WE WERE AT THE HOSPITAL THAT NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THOUGHT ABOUT OUR MOTHER INCLUDING US. MOMMA KEPT US TOGETHER AND WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER SUGGESTED TO HER THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE THROWN MY 4 OLDER BROTHERS OVER THE BRIDGE WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER NO OLDER THEN 7 MOM WORKED HARD AND KEPT ALL FIVE OF US TOGETHER REGARDLESS OF HER CIRCUMSTANCES (SINGLE MOTHER ) BEAT BY HER FIRST HUSBAND. SHE WAS 16 WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED. SO I TOLD THEM WE SHOULD BE PROUD AND GRATEFUL THAT GOD BLESSED US WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL LOVING,PLAYFUL MOTHER, WHO TAUGHT US HOW TO LOVE HARD AND UNCONDITIONALLY. TO TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE. LAST BUT NOT LEAST MY MOM TAUGHT US SO MUCH THAT WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO IS OUR STRENGTH. THANK YOU MOMMA FOR SHARING JESUS THE SAVIOUR WITH US, JESUS!!!!!! ALL THE WAY. :) THANKS FOR SHARING AND READING. TYLER

    Reply
  • Marie Scott Washington,DC

    Your expression of love for your mom was beautifully and eloquently expressed. The love you and your mother shared has often led me to reflect on the love I shared with my own mother who died when I was in my second year of college. Like your mother, my mother enjoyed life; she also enjoyed service to God. Unlike your mom, my mom did not sing in the choir. What once was a painful memory for me is now a bitter sweet memory: On the day my mother died, she had been in a coma for over a week. My sister and I were at her bedside. She came out of the coma for a brief moment before she died. She looked at me with such love in her eyes because she knew and understood how hard it was for me to be there. A tear rolled down her cheek, she closed her eyes, and passed on. I don't think I ever loved her as much as I did in that moment. Even if you don't say I love you, show them you love them . Thanks for the memory. As always, you know what to say and the right time to say it.

    Reply
  • Kadira Beckom

    All I can say is Beautiful. God Bless you Tyler.

    Reply
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