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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 5)

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  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta, Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta, Georgia

    This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
    • Mheri Francis Maryland #1859144

      Who in the h*** wrote this evil letter and signed it "your mother"?

      Reply
    • Quentin Tucker #1860905

      I know, that's just mean

      Reply
  • Maxine Perry Atlanta Georgia

    Emmett, This is your mother. I am writing to you from my grave. For the cold narrow coffin you put the remains of me in. Yes! I died of diabetes, but the money you provided fed me well. No I couldn't see lost my eyesight and good limbs, but I can tell you its nothing like dying at the expense of a rich son. I ate good. And so did your dad, that's how I could leave u as a child knowing that you were being beaten by that man. Please don't hate me for that. I never loved you. But I am your mother still. If you never reveal your sexual identity, know that you'll never marry or have children. But at least you can live in your lies until you die. Won't be too long from now. I'm with your true father now and you know who that is. Be well and prosperous in all that you do. With Love, your mother.

    Reply
  • THANDO south affrica newcastle

    That is very touchy tyler sorry for your loss all the love from a loving fan

    Reply
  • Donnell Brown Dupo IL

    you keep on doing what you doing to tyler no matter what ppl tell you do you and stay strong and keep loving god and once again im so sorry for the loss of yo mom i know how you feel to lose someone you loved i lost my granpa he help raised me and his other 7 grandchildren we all lived together in one big house from when i was a baby til 18 we was very very close to him he waz like a father to me cause my dad left me when i was 2 in and out my life he was also my pastor to cancer he died July 29 2011 right in front of his whole fam still hurts alot we never cried so hard the dr siad he was going to go home and next thing you know he died we miss him alot but we all keep going on now my grandma is the pastor we just live life and go on to cause we know he is in a much bertter place and thats heaven :) and thats what you have to do stay strong and keep pressing on i can tell your mother was a great loveing holy woman cause look how you turned out and she is in a much better place , stay bless keep in touch fam love ya Ty

    Reply
  • juanita mays landing nj

    thank you for sharing your love and feelings for your mom. my mom is 85 and I thank God every that I can hear her voice and tell her I love her and hear her tell me she loves me. I have savedthe many times she has called my phone and left messages just saying she love me so when and if she leaves this earth before me I have her voice to hear I wish I had my sister who was a great singer and brothers and grandmother voice but never thought of it when they were living. sorry got carried away blessing to you from nita B new jersey girl aka Sistah Glory on youtube

    Reply
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