Tyler Perry.com


Warning! Be Careful How You Treat Your Children!

In my prayer and quiet time at 5am, I was praying about how to (one day) be the best father that I can be. I have no doubt that I will be a great dad, but as I looked back in my life for an example, all I could remember were all of the horrible things that were said and done to me as a kid. But before I could get sad about it, I remembered something I wrote a while back about "learning in reverse".

If you are like me and had no good examples, then your lesson is in reverse. I learned many years ago that if I do the opposite of what was done and said to me then I have learned how to be a good father some day. Which lead my mind to a line in one of my favorite songs of all time. It's called “Mary Did You Know”. I've written about this before, but I think it's worth sharing again.

The song is about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and in the song the lyrics ask the question, “Mary, did you know that the child that you delivered will soon deliver you?” Such a powerful question. I want to ask parents this question today. Do you know how special your child is? Do you know who God has put into your house? I know sometimes you think it's just your child but I'm sure many parents of children who went on to change this world had no idea who was sleeping down the hall from them. Be careful, because the child that you delivered may one day have to deliver you. Meaning, the very child that you gave birth to and you took care of in your youth may be the child that has to take care of you as you age. If my mother was alive she would testify, I'm sure.

My prayer for us today:

I pray this morning, oh God, for every parent of children born and yet to be born to have a clearer understanding of the blessing that their child is. I also pray for the safe return of the Nigerian girls. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Have a beautiful day.

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  • Kiara Staggs South Carolina

    Mr. Perry!! Yes!! I love this here!! As a child advocate I am very passionate when it comes to children!! I have a child of my own!! My son is my world and I knew that at his young age that he is someone special, very musically inclined and at the age of four, his relationship with God is what I would never expect from a four year old. How he engages in worship and praise and understands Gods love for him and his love for God. As his mother it is important that I cover him and help him maintain that relationship with God, not just maintain but help enhance it as he grows into a man!! I know that he is a gift that God has placed in my life and it's my responsibility to handle him with much care!! I think often times parents forget that children are a gift from God, precious jewels that we must handle with care!! If we mishandle that gift there will be consequences or a reaping that we will have to go through! On another note, I work with children who are less fortunate and may have been in abused or neglect situations so I see parents who struggle with there own issues and don't realize the negative effects it has on their children!! Sad situations!! Anytime I come in contact with another child other than my own, I'm always speaking positive things into their lives and pray Gods favor!! As I do my own!! Thank you for this post Tyler! It really blessed me!! Child's advocate, my hearts desire.... Kiara

  • GMB United States

    GMB, I grew up without a father but was taught the best values one could ever have. I was raised by my mother and grandmother and brag about the wonderful job they did with me. It would have been wonderful to have my father in my life, but my fathers mother thought it best that since my mother was darker than he was that they should surely not be together, the sadness of our black families and how they think....I never met him and now he has passed, I've never met the siblings I may have and probably never will. I was blessed with a stepfather who is the most wonderful man I know as a father. He came into my life when I was 16, and was the absolute greatest man my mother could have met. He and my mother had other children and I know that fatherhood comes with love....you have that and I know it because you want to be a father, no one has to tell you how to be a father. The key is love, once you know you are a father, you should automatically love your child, God allowed you to conceive this child so it was meant to be. Never expect life to be perfect with you and the mother of your child, but never take side between the two, mother came before the child so your love for her was undoubtedly first....teaching your child is the next thing and as a father who cares and loves his child would only want to teach him/her the right things in life. God will teach you the rest if you get the first things in life right the first time around. Good luck, GMB

  • Calitta Suitland, MD

    This is so true thank you for sharing that, sometimes when dealing with life and the issues that come with it we can forget about the little things that God has done for us, and our children look to us to be there examples. Growing up I had to witness some terrible things in my home with my parents, being the baby girl of two brothers my dad was extra hard on me. Now that i'm married with three kids I try not to allow them to see or hear the things I had to its not always easy, I ask God for guidance and wisdom everyday. Now I am trying my best to encourage my kids to chase their dreams I see there talent and I believe God will make a way for them and allow me to help them persue it. So thanks for the reminder I do try not to be as tough on them as my dad was on me.

  • Samantha United States

    That's absolutely right Mr. Perry. I by no means had a great childhood, and when I sit down to think I start to think about everything thing that was done or said to me as a child. I am afraid to find someone who loves me because I am scared to death that it won’t work out. I am a 21 year old female and I have had no boyfriend, ever just simply because of everything that was done or said to me as a child. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to get married or have children because I don’t want the same thing that happened to me to happen to them. No child should have to go through the things that I went through as a child. Thanks for your time.

  • Rosalyn Georgia

    Good morning Tyler.you will be a great father because of your mother raising you the best she could.you do not want your son to go thu what you went thru not having a father figure.congrats again on your son.he is so cute.

  • Lisa Leonard asheboro

    I got two little kids. My little girl is almost 2 Year old and my little is only 7 months old and i try my best to be a great mom to both of them but sometime i feel like i fell them cause i dont have much and all my money goes to bill and there daddy is always in jail. I dont know much about loving cause all my life i was put down or was hit on or was mess with but i learn that just cause it happen to you in your life dont mean you have to do it to your kids. I love my kids so much that i cant let them out of my eyes cause i would die if someone would never hurt my kids. My kids will know just cause i dont have money to get them anything for christmas but they will know that love them. MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

  • Shaivon Va.

    Dear Tyler, Tonight I cried. I haven't done that in awhile. Actually I thought I was done with that. Today really hasn't been a a good day for me. Have you ever had a day, that it seems as if everything you try to do goes wrong. Or if there is bad news to be heard, you here it all about the same time. It seems as if no matter how hard you try.. Well really storm after storm comes and in between those storms the sun don't come out to shine. Tyler I know God.. Most important, I believe that I have a true relationship with him..However tonight I just feel as if I'm alone.. Through my years on this earth, I have been through a lot. Each storm I have been through has made me stronger and stronger, but I just feel a little weak tonight. I thank God that I don't have it as bad as others.. But I've been praying that it doesn't get worst. I believe that I'm a good person. I've been told that often. I am a giver. I give my love , I give my advise, I mentor to kids. A lot of kids in my neighborhood looks up to me. A lot of them call me mom or tell me that I'm their second mom. I make others happy.. But deep down inside Tyler I'm searching for my happiness. Life has thrown me a lot of punches.. I get knocked down..but with God's Grace and Mercy I get back up. I know that with out God I couldn't make it. I really love the Lord. I'm going through some rough time. I've been told so many times that your a wonderful person. god is going to bless u. Should I feel bad because I keep wondering when is that going to happen.. I'm getting a Lil tired. I pray and I pray.. Should I feel bad because I believe I God and I know that God will answer my prayers but I often wonder how much longer I have to go thru before they are truly answered..Should I feel bad because I want some of my riches here on earth..Tyler I know that I'm blessed in many many ways. However I also want some of the desires of my heart..To make this clear I'm not talking about a man.

  • Kendra Gully Zion, IL

    I was treated badly as a child and discard like trash... I'm so protective over my children because I'm afraid someone will treat them the way I was treated as a child. Even though I hurt when I think on my past and how my mom wanted only my 2 sisters, and my son but left me in foster care. It hurt and tore me apart. She took me away from the only person I knew that loved me, which was my infant child. At the time I was only 14 years old. Even today It's the same. But what's crazy about this situation is; Despise how she treated me back then and now, She don't know I prayed for her deliverance from drugs since I was 12, I respected her more than my sisters do, regardless of her doing me the way she do today. I still love and respect her. I know I will be the one to take care of her.....

  • Kendra Gully Zion, IL

    I needed that, Thanks....

  • jenny lawrenceville ga

    Dear Mr Perry first let me bless you continuously for all you have done for yourself and others. i am a 45 yr old disabled separated mother of 3. i recently came back to ga a little over a month after being homeless with my kids 23 13 and 3. a very stressful time in my life separating with my husband as well although sometimes i just felt like giving up your movies always cheer me up and motivate me to keep going along with my God who knows i am a strong woman and just want my kids to be in a stable home. sometimes i think i failed my kids because of all the trials we have been through but their laughter their i love u mom makes me realize that now where we are we have nothing no furniture not enough beds clothes or dont know how long we will be in this home due to it going through a short sale i dont have any monies to relocate i support my kids off my social security disability my oldest wants to go to school and work to help his daughter back in pa but its hard when we have no vehicle to mobilize but yet they are happy and that makes me somewhat happy to know we can laugh at each other sit down and eat together and talk about anythings. Basically Mr Perry my kids have been through alot and im not too healthy and just want to know that if i pass they will be ok and have a stable home to live for as long as they live. i am asking if you can possibly help me to just acquire this home as is i can work on it little by little to make it what i want it to be if i know its mine and my childrens home. i only know that so far appraisers have given a number of 70,000 being that it needs work in would work for you and my son would too if given the opportunity i am not asking for charity because i believe and was taught to work for whatever i get and so with that i would work we would work hard to repay you if we had too. my address is 2483 chablis ct lawrenceville ga 30043 if anything i would love for you to visit and give more words of encouragement to my kids if nothing else they love your movies especially my 13 yr old she loves all the madea movies and loves the good deeds movie i always cry at that movie because i know whats its like living from place to place trying to maintain your children i am blessed to just have all my kids with me and with my income of social security support all our needs not all our wants a little i do they smile they smile they smile and its a others happiness to just see that. you are an inspiration to me and many and i just wanted to thank you and to always know we are watching your work. hope to hear and see you one day soon thank you blessed jenny melenciano

  • Tasha FL

    Dear Tyler, The song "Mary Did You Know" is MY favorite song as well!!! I finally got a version of Ceelo Green's on my Ipod. I wish they would play it ALL day on a radio station around the holidays. Love to you and yours, Tasha

  • Maria M United States

    I understand not having an example to follow. I'm the oldest of three and my mother favored/s my younger siblings. We have different fathers and I believe it played a part somehow. I wasn't allowed to see my dad but they were. I could go on about the physical mental abuse that I endured but I won't. I remember feeling so alone unwanted. I was filled with so much anger content that I was on a path of self destruction then God allowed me to be a mother. Doctors said my body was going through an abnormal abortion. My body was treating my child like an infection and was trying to kill him.. God said otherwise. I can remember saying I will not allow my past to be the floor plan of my future. I chose to make it like a story in the bible, learn and grow from it. I can remember looking at my first child and feeling delivered from the hurt that was still a major part of my life. I felt delivered from the ignorance of allowing that past hurt to subconsciously dictate my life. I have two children, different fathers and I have a cousin that applauds me as a mother because of what I went through. They are God fearing terrific children. I praise God and applaud my kids because without I believe I would still be wallowing in the past.

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